Anger and Ignorance
​this topic is included on my website, because of its increasing presence in the therapeutic day-to-day work

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​every hour
has its morning, noon, and night
-emerson
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HATRED

Hate is the number one problem in America affecting mental health and it is causing American democracy to begin to rot. We recently saw this practiced, out of all places in our Congress, where there is now an erosion of shame. Anything goes.

​Hatred’s impact is being minimized. Its effect is being valorized and it is becoming normalized. Hate leads to suffering. Hate leads to anxiety, depression, fear and retaliation. Hate justifies the irrational. Hate amplifies personal differences to caustic heights. Hate drives discrimination and suppression. Hate thrives on exaggeration (like the idea of cancel culture, or the belief that the internet is an actual place). Hate is limited to black and white thinking. Hate creates generalized instability. Hate is exhausting and hurtful and deadly.

Hatred is a mental health issue.
American society has become
filled with intolerance, recrimination, vituperation,
​revenge and retaliatory anger.

​Emptiness
is both the culprit and the result

⎯hopelessness, worthlessness, despair, disconnection, numbness, longing ⎯
​

Diagnoses Related to Feelings of Emptiness
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)- A disconnection from self and others
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)- Prevalent with understimulation
Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)- Abandonment Melange is a mixture of fear, shame and self abnegation
Complicated Grief- Feelings of anger, guilt, loneliness, and sadness
Major Depressive Disorder- Combined feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, irritability, frustration‚ restlessness
Anxiety Disorders- Disappearance of vested psychological, emotional, and spiritual life 
Substance Use Disorders- Cycling through self criticism, self pity, hubris, and shame
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​'Ain't nothing left at the end of being proud'
​

​Each person carries a life and it is not there for others to destroy

stop hurting each other
hate is voluntary.
hate is voluntary.
​hate is voluntary.

HISTRIONIC BEHAVIORS

...threats, vitriol, spite, chronic complaining, chronic oppositional viewpoint, over-consumption, antagonism, resentment, hostility, herd mentality, bitterness, incessant cattiness, cruelty, bitchiness, nastiness, harshness, paternalism, intolerance, stinging, targeting, hurtfulness, vengefulness, vindictiveness, arrogance, smugness, pomposity, high and mighty, vanity, egocentrism, egotism, internet fed scholars; fake name or initials only emoji-profile-picture trolls...STOP.
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You have a HATE problem
HATE is synonymous with self-loathing and if left unchecked can turn into chronic criticism and negative thought patterns with no intended pro social goal. It simply feeds on itself, spreads into group think and becomes on line bullying/retaliation, hate crimes, mass shootings, suicide, and war.
​
​The root of RAGE is a tripartite classification: ​fear, pain, and frustration.
If you check each individually before it grows, then you interrupt the chances of rage, acrimony, and madness getting away from you.

Gun Deaths

Suicide

Hate Crimes

​TECHNOLOGY and the NARCISSISM EPIDEMIC
Grandiose Exhibitionism and Entitlement/Exploitativeness

Those who scored high on a test for grandiose exhibitionism tended to use social media for self-promoting activities, such as frequently updating statuses. Those who showed high levels of entitlement/exploitativeness were likely to exhibit anti-social engagement behaviors, such as reacting angrily to challenging comments and posting in ways that sought support without supporting their friends in turn. Narcissism and self-esteem differ, as the former damages relationships with its correlation to antisocial behaviors and manipulation. Self-esteem has been correlated with prosocial behaviors and benevolence.
(University of Western Illinois study)

​
​It's Impossible to always be right, as evidenced by
​Participation Bias⎯
Which is the number of participants who opt into a discussion (on social media). The participants do not represent the whole of all the people (on that social media platform) who would present a much greater range of views about a topic, if each weighed in.
​
Here are other BIASES: Unconscious Bias, Implicit Bias, Confirmation Bias, Conformity Bias, Affinity Bias, Halo Effect, Horns Effect, Contrast Effect, Status Quo Bias, Anchor Bias, Authority Bias, Overconfidence Bias,​ Perception Bias, Ageism, Illusory Correlation, Affect Heuristic, Idiosyncratic Rater Bias, Beauty Bias, Name Bias, Gender Bias, Political Bias,

​Recency Bias
The idea that current history is the most correct, the final truth, and that is will remain so. This particular bias doesn't examine cultural contexts of history at each interval, nor does it value earlier historical timelines as groundbreaking, or stepping stones to contemporary societal development. Recency bias is sanctimonious, and given the nature of its subject (history) it reveals a certain crudeness of thinking, a naïveté. 

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YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE
​Therapy cannot help with hatefulness unless the client acknowledges who and how they frustrate and hate, first. When there is little to no self-questioning or restraint, this is irresponsible. Hate stirs long standing emptiness, and we see over and over how that can become deadly.

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The Blindness of Group Think
Professed Values and Lived Values are not the same.
Hatred subverts and subordinates the values that one claims to have or live by
In America,
people are preferring virtue signaling above behaving virtuously
This contrast makes one a hypocrite
​​Full stop.

​⚀
☇
​
​​BRILLIANT DISGUISE

You're ​Lying to yourself about your own prejudice and your own group bias
if you ever preface your disapproval about one group to a member of another group, like this, "I have to be careful what I say around my..."
Jewish/Arab friends or coworkers
Queer friends or coworkers
Asian friends or coworkers
Latin friends or coworkers 
Black friends or coworkers
White friends or coworkers
​Christian/Muslim friends or coworkers
-
I hear this preface in session often, too often, in fact⏤
​
What becomes challenging, yet more clarifying with hatred is when the client doesn't register that their own therapist is part of a group they espouse bias towards.

Affirmative Therapy situates itself in honesty, as the closet has never really worked out well for any of us.
We can parse out the thin line between your values and your biases.

​If you are practicing
closeted prejudice in therapy or anonymous contempt on-line, these behaviors serve to alert you 
 that you yourself likely feel that what you are saying is unacceptable chauvinism​ or jingoism.

Performing as a people pleaser ("I have to be careful what I say around my friends who are..."),
or as a concealed trouble maker on the internet
are both passive aggressive.

This indicates you have trouble directly expressing yourself with complicated topics
and avoid taking responsibility for the impact of your actions and words.

Let's work on this.

It's possible to convey your ideas that hold meaning for you without
disproving, seeking revenge, or annihilating another group.
In fact, it's imperative for your moral development.
​❤︎
⛲︎
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​hard therapeutic work actually begins a positive feedback loop that starts with you
and ends with other people ​feeling better because they met you today

​♺
therapy
​Kristin F Jones, lmft

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from generation to generation 
​The United States is
as much a state of mind, as it is a place
​​​​○

​love each other or perish
​☮︎

​Americans must protect each other