Anger and Ignorance
this topic is included in the Kristin F Jones, LMFT digital publication because of its increasing presence in the therapeutic day-to-day work
this topic is included in the Kristin F Jones, LMFT digital publication because of its increasing presence in the therapeutic day-to-day work
every hour
has its morning, noon, and night
-emerson
❆
HATRED
Hate is the number one problem in America affecting mental health and it is causing American democracy to begin to rot. We see this practiced almost daily, out of all places in our Congress, where there is now an erosion of shame. Anything goes.
Hatred’s impact is being minimized. Its effect is being valorized and it is becoming normalized. Hate leads to suffering. Hate leads to anxiety, depression, fear and retaliation. Hate justifies the irrational. Hate amplifies personal differences to caustic heights. Hate drives discrimination and suppression. Hate thrives on exaggeration (like the idea of cancel culture, or the belief that the internet is an actual place). Hate is limited to black and white thinking. Hate creates generalized instability. Hate is exhausting and hurtful and deadly.
Hatred’s impact is being minimized. Its effect is being valorized and it is becoming normalized. Hate leads to suffering. Hate leads to anxiety, depression, fear and retaliation. Hate justifies the irrational. Hate amplifies personal differences to caustic heights. Hate drives discrimination and suppression. Hate thrives on exaggeration (like the idea of cancel culture, or the belief that the internet is an actual place). Hate is limited to black and white thinking. Hate creates generalized instability. Hate is exhausting and hurtful and deadly.
Hatred is a mental health issue.
American society has become
filled with intolerance, recrimination, vituperation,
revenge and retaliatory anger.
Emptiness
is both the culprit and the result
⎯hopelessness, worthlessness, despair, disconnection, numbness, longing ⎯
Diagnoses Related to Feelings of Emptiness
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)- A disconnection from self and others
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)- Prevalent with understimulation
Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)- Abandonment Melange is a mixture of fear, shame and self abnegation
Complicated Grief- Feelings of anger, guilt, loneliness, and sadness
Major Depressive Disorder- Combined feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, irritability, frustration‚ restlessness
Anxiety Disorders- Disappearance of vested psychological, emotional, and spiritual life
Substance Use Disorders- Cycling through self criticism, self pity, hubris, and shame
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)- A disconnection from self and others
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)- Prevalent with understimulation
Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)- Abandonment Melange is a mixture of fear, shame and self abnegation
Complicated Grief- Feelings of anger, guilt, loneliness, and sadness
Major Depressive Disorder- Combined feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, irritability, frustration‚ restlessness
Anxiety Disorders- Disappearance of vested psychological, emotional, and spiritual life
Substance Use Disorders- Cycling through self criticism, self pity, hubris, and shame
'Ain't nothing left at the end of being proud'
Each person carries a life and it is not there for others to destroy
stop hurting each other
hate is voluntary.
hate is voluntary.
hate is voluntary.
HISTRIONIC BEHAVIORS
...threats, vitriol, spite, chronic complaining, chronic oppositional viewpoint, over-consumption, antagonism, resentment, hostility, herd mentality, bitterness, incessant cattiness, cruelty, bitchiness, nastiness, harshness, paternalism, intolerance, stinging, targeting, hurtfulness, vengefulness, vindictiveness, arrogance, smugness, pomposity, high and mighty, vanity, egocentrism, egotism, internet fed scholars; fake name or initials only emoji-profile-picture trolls...STOP.
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You have a HATE problem
HATE is synonymous with self-loathing and if left unchecked can turn into chronic criticism and negative thought patterns with no intended pro social goal. It simply feeds on itself, spreads into group think and becomes on line bullying/retaliation, hate crimes, mass shootings, suicide, and war.
The root of RAGE is a tripartite classification: fear, pain, and frustration.
If you check each individually before it grows, then you interrupt the chances of rage, acrimony, and madness getting away from you.
HATE is synonymous with self-loathing and if left unchecked can turn into chronic criticism and negative thought patterns with no intended pro social goal. It simply feeds on itself, spreads into group think and becomes on line bullying/retaliation, hate crimes, mass shootings, suicide, and war.
The root of RAGE is a tripartite classification: fear, pain, and frustration.
If you check each individually before it grows, then you interrupt the chances of rage, acrimony, and madness getting away from you.
TECHNOLOGY and the NARCISSISM EPIDEMIC
Grandiose Exhibitionism and Entitlement/Exploitativeness
Those who scored high on a test for grandiose exhibitionism tended to use social media for self-promoting activities, such as frequently updating statuses. Those who showed high levels of entitlement/exploitativeness were likely to exhibit anti-social engagement behaviors, such as reacting angrily to challenging comments and posting in ways that sought support without supporting their friends in turn. Narcissism and self-esteem differ, as the former damages relationships with its correlation to antisocial behaviors and manipulation. Self-esteem has been correlated with prosocial behaviors and benevolence.
(University of Western Illinois study)
It's Impossible to always be right, as evidenced by
Participation Bias⎯
Which is the number of participants who opt into a discussion (on social media). The participants do not represent the whole of all the people (on that social media platform) who would present a much greater range of views about a topic, if each weighed in.
Here are other BIASES: Unconscious Bias, Implicit Bias, Confirmation Bias, Conformity Bias, Affinity Bias, Halo Effect, Horns Effect, Contrast Effect, Status Quo Bias, Anchor Bias, Authority Bias, Overconfidence Bias, Perception Bias, Ageism, Illusory Correlation, Affect Heuristic, Idiosyncratic Rater Bias, Beauty Bias, Name Bias, Gender Bias, Political Bias,
Recency Bias ⎯
The idea that current history is the most correct, the final truth, and that is will remain so. This particular bias doesn't examine cultural contexts of history at each interval, nor does it value earlier historical timelines as groundbreaking, or stepping stones to contemporary societal development. Recency bias is sanctimonious, and given the nature of its subject (history) it reveals a certain crudeness of thinking, a naïveté.
◘
As natural as it might feel to assign blame for what happens
at this time in history,
our views will not stand the test of time, either.
To believe otherwise is to be unlearned about the ever-changing nature of cultural polemics.
As natural as it might feel to assign blame for what happens
at this time in history,
our views will not stand the test of time, either.
To believe otherwise is to be unlearned about the ever-changing nature of cultural polemics.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE
Therapy cannot help with hatefulness unless the client acknowledges who and how they frustrate and hate, first. When there is little to no self-questioning or restraint, this is irresponsible. Hate stirs long standing emptiness, and we see over and over how that can become deadly.
Therapy cannot help with hatefulness unless the client acknowledges who and how they frustrate and hate, first. When there is little to no self-questioning or restraint, this is irresponsible. Hate stirs long standing emptiness, and we see over and over how that can become deadly.
The Blindness of Group Think
Professed Values and Lived Values are not the same.
Hatred subverts and subordinates the values that one claims to have or live by
In America,
people are preferring virtue signaling above behaving virtuously
This contrast makes one a hypocrite
Full stop.
Professed Values and Lived Values are not the same.
Hatred subverts and subordinates the values that one claims to have or live by
In America,
people are preferring virtue signaling above behaving virtuously
This contrast makes one a hypocrite
Full stop.
⚀
☇
BRILLIANT DISGUISE
☇
BRILLIANT DISGUISE
You're Lying to yourself about your own prejudice and your own group bias
if you ever preface your disapproval about one group to a member of another group, like this, "I have to be careful what I say around my..."
Jewish/Arab friends or coworkers
Queer friends or coworkers
Asian friends or coworkers
Latin friends or coworkers
Black friends or coworkers
White friends or coworkers
Christian/Muslim friends or coworkers
-
I hear this preface in session often, too often, in fact⏤
What becomes challenging, yet more clarifying with hatred is when the client doesn't register that their own therapist is part of a group they espouse bias towards.
if you ever preface your disapproval about one group to a member of another group, like this, "I have to be careful what I say around my..."
Jewish/Arab friends or coworkers
Queer friends or coworkers
Asian friends or coworkers
Latin friends or coworkers
Black friends or coworkers
White friends or coworkers
Christian/Muslim friends or coworkers
-
I hear this preface in session often, too often, in fact⏤
What becomes challenging, yet more clarifying with hatred is when the client doesn't register that their own therapist is part of a group they espouse bias towards.
Affirmative Therapy situates itself in honesty, as the closet has never really worked out well for any of us.
We can parse out the thin line between your values and your biases.
If you are practicing
closeted prejudice in therapy or anonymous contempt on-line, these behaviors serve to alert you
that you yourself likely feel that what you are saying is unacceptable chauvinism or jingoism.
Performing as a people pleaser ("I have to be careful what I say around my friends who are..."),
or as a concealed trouble maker on the internet
are both passive aggressive.
This indicates you have trouble directly expressing yourself with complicated topics
and avoid taking responsibility for the impact of your actions and words.
Let's work on this.
It's possible to convey your ideas that hold meaning for you without
disproving, seeking revenge, or annihilating another group.
In fact, it's imperative for your moral development.
❤︎
⛲︎
.
.
.
We can parse out the thin line between your values and your biases.
If you are practicing
closeted prejudice in therapy or anonymous contempt on-line, these behaviors serve to alert you
that you yourself likely feel that what you are saying is unacceptable chauvinism or jingoism.
Performing as a people pleaser ("I have to be careful what I say around my friends who are..."),
or as a concealed trouble maker on the internet
are both passive aggressive.
This indicates you have trouble directly expressing yourself with complicated topics
and avoid taking responsibility for the impact of your actions and words.
Let's work on this.
It's possible to convey your ideas that hold meaning for you without
disproving, seeking revenge, or annihilating another group.
In fact, it's imperative for your moral development.
❤︎
⛲︎
.
.
.
hard therapeutic work actually begins a positive feedback loop that starts with you
and ends with other people feeling better because they met you today
♺
therapy
Kristin F Jones, lmft
and ends with other people feeling better because they met you today
♺
therapy
Kristin F Jones, lmft
from Generation to Generation the United States is
as much a state of mind as it is a place
⎯love each other or perish⎯
☮︎
Americans must protect each other
as much a state of mind as it is a place
⎯love each other or perish⎯
☮︎
Americans must protect each other