The internet is not a real place but the hate and shame it causes in your life is.
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Everyday, online and on social media, we create the dangerous conditions in the world we then step into
If you're feeling angry and argumentative and you spend more than 30 minutes a day on X, Instagram, TikTok, Reddit, Facebook, or news stories Check out how news and social media consumption frames your day from the start
The Perpetual State of Grievance 1) How long were you awake before your first complaint? 2 How many times have you said "I HATE_____" today? 3 How cynical are you about the people you work with, are related to, or live with? 4 Have you corrected, condescended to, or criticized a person on social media today? 5 Have you disliked more choices, decisions, or situations than you have enjoyed today? 6 Have you been rude to others well knowing you were at fault?
7 Have you derided someone then 'blocked' them because of their needs and boundaries? 8 Have you required as much of yourself morally today, as you have of others? 9 Have you taken a beat on a reaction today, only to find that the delay cooled you down? 10 Have you condemned an entire group, or combined groups and wished their erasure?
11 Have you apologized to anyone today for your unintended over-reaction? 12 Have you said, I haven't understood this before and your point makes sense? 13 Have you on-line bullied anyone, anonymously? 14 Have you attempted to acknowledge how you messed up with a person?
15 Do you need a cause? 16 Does your contempt somehow make you feel smarter, or bring out self-assured hubris? 17 Does your TikTok post actually change minds, or make "them" want to speak to you? 18 Do you automatically oppose people/groups because of their race, ethnicity, gender, or religion? 19 Are you oppositional when you don’t get your way? 20 Are you capable of course-correcting these lower functioning reactive parts of yourself? 21 Are getting ‘likes’ more important to you than the harm that your (recently learned) condemnation or protestation will likely cause to an individual or member of a group, for whom you’ve decided that you are morally superior to? 22 Does your own behavior convey a belief that all human beings have a right to peace and happiness? 23 How much fun are you to be around? 24 Are you creating the society you want to live in? 25 What service or action do you positively contribute to in your local community?
Everyone is just trying to get by anymore. Honestly. The world is hurting, right now, because of us. Yes us. We need to untangle this mess we've made on social media, in public, with extended family and friends, and at work...
△▷▽△▷▽△▷▽△▷▽ Number One: The world isn't yours to solve. Who do you actually think you are? This is a sincere question, please reflect!
Number Two: Take a beat. Have seat. Slow your roll. Step back. Be quiet for just a minute. Are you capable of listening?
ASK yourself a) Will I actually choose to get to bed earlier, get some rest today, and unplug more, so I can be reasonable? b) Am I making time for my pain, fears, and fatigue? c) Am I nurturing myself with better language, quality time, and less divisive and pathological consumption? d) Can I go a whole day with no complaint, recrimination, or contempt? Can I go an hour? e) Am I being honest about my own ignorance in terms of histories, peoples, and topics that I JUST read about on-line? e) Can I go without preaching for one whole day about what I personally have not experienced myself, or about things I have no firsthand knowledge of?
This world will feel more agreeable when we require more of ourselves, first.
we may listen and we may speak and nowadays it's truly more helpful, if what we have to teach comes from one's lived firsthand experience.
because if its not and you're also not genuinely asking questions, than it’s just another opinion 🀰 Is your smack down really what you think? Or, is it more so, what you mimicked?
First Order Change What is first-order change in psychology? First-order change occurs when a problem is addressed by performing more or less of a given action within the existing system. For instance: posting on X, instagram, TikTok
Second-Order Change What is second-order change in psychology? A person addresses feelings of low self-worth, and they come to understand and challenge their underlying beliefs and patterns of thinking that contribute to the low self-worth and make actual changes specific to this understanding. For instance: Getting off the phone and off the hate and actually volunteering to help others.
First Order and Second Order Change Together To better elucidate this, first-order change refers to solutions (tweets) that do not change the problem (hate) but that create 'stability,' while second-order change transforms the first-order solutions (recriminating tweets), resulting in a resolution of the problem (pro-social volunteering = less hate).
Americans must protect each other
this topic is included on my website, because of its overwhelming presence in the therapeutic day-to-day work