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YOUR CART

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It's the importance
​of things

Kristin F Jones LMFT


​For more information or scheduling
Contact Me​

​
​READING & RESOURCES 
All Book recommendations below are link-free. This way, you can purchase from your favorite local book seller.
All other
(non-literary) links are Active 

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California Library Branch Directory (file is large and will take a few moments to load)
GRIEF Books
How to Live When a Loved One Dies by Thich Nhat Hanh
No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life by Thich Nhat Hanh

Its Okay that You're Not Okay: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine
How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed: A Journal for Grief by Megan Devine
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Ritual of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller
African American Grief (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement) by Paul C Rosenblatt, Beverly R Wallace
Healing the Adult Sibling's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After your Brother or Sister Dies by Alan D Wolfelt, PhD
​Grieving While Black: An Anti-Racist Take on Oppression and Sorrow by Breeshia Wade
Mourning Nature: Hope at the Heart of Ecological Loss and Grief by Ashlee Cunsolo

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman
Mourning Diary by Roland Barthes
A Grief Observed by CS Lewis
A Matter of Death and Life by 
Dr. Irving D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom
Poems of Mourning by Everyman's Library Pocket Poet Series


Through A Glass Darkly (link)
Miriam Greenspan On Moving From Grief To Gratitude
By Barbara Platek ​

Suicide Prevention Hotlines Los Angeles Department of Public Health (link)
∙∙∙
LIVING Books
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus
​The Unfinished system of Nonknowledge by Georges Bataille
​The Language of the Self: The Function of Language in Psychoanalysis by Jacques Lacan
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times  by Pema Chodron
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
To Build a Fire by Jack London (short story)
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
Self-Reliance and Other Essays by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Annie Allen by Gwendolyn Brooks
The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
Notes on Camp by Susan Sontag
Ways of Seeing by John Berger
The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder
The Trumpet of Conscience by Martin Luther King, Jr
The Universe is a Green Dragon by Brian Swimme
Call Us What We Carry by Amanda Gorman

​How to Sit by Thich Nhat Hanh 
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Living for Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn
☼

I began the Reading & Resources with grief books because we and this world are all ailing.

Grief naturally converts into the withdrawal of optional energy. Daily active-grieving reorganizes and ultimately reinvests this energy, distilling hard to grasp or painful emotions into manageable proportions. When we actively grieve the heart space feels more spacious, and our available receptivity gets reapplied to other meaningful relationships. All of this is to say, intentional grief work serves as a wellspring. When practiced, it continuously supplies fresh meaning about who we are, even given our struggles. It keeps the heart space tender and supple.

And with that, let’s get to the resources that support our lives here in the City of Los Angeles

LIFE in the City of Angels and Mental Health
As we age, the health of our bodies and minds is directly impacted by stimulation. The more engaged all of our senses are in activities, the more our brain and cognitive abilities function at an efficient rate. Areas such as memory, thinking, attention, reasoning skills and temperament stay strong and intact. Cognitively stimulating activities enhance our cognitive reserve, period. Research indicates that novelty, variety, level of engagement, cognitive challenges and degree of enjoyment improve brain function (See Brain Health below)

Our city is so varied from its urban forestry to the endless selections of beaches, museums, cafes, restaurants, skate parks, mountains, sporting events, cultural events, history, and plethora of iconic landmarks just to name a few...GET OUT INTO THE CITY and play!

Any Book recommendations below are link-free. All other links are active.
Living in the City of Angels BEAUTY...
Self Realization Fellowship
Descanso Gardens
The Huntington 
Griffith Park
Arboretum
Point Dume
Santa Monica Pier
African American Firefighter Museum
Guide to LA Farmer's Markets
Black Cultural Events
City of Los Angeles Department of Recreation and Parks
Fun Facts About Los Angeles
Living in the City of Angels MUSIC 
Lost Record Stores: archival map of lost independent record stores in Los Angeles from 1954 to present
Disney Concert Hall
Dolby Theatre
Pantages Theatre
Ebony Repertory Theatre
The Greek Theatre
The Hollywood Bowl
The Wiltern
The Ahmanson
The Troubadour
Living in the City of Angels PRIDE...
Los Angeles Dodgers
Los Angeles Sparks
Los Angeles Lakers
Los Angeles Rams
Angel City Football Club
Los Angeles Football Club
Los Angeles Galaxy
LA Kings
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BRAIN HEALTH
The Brain (conditions, tests, treatments)
Defining Optimal Brain Health in Adults
National Brain Center for African Americans
Cognitively Stimulating Activities and Brain Health
Why Your Brain Needs More Downtime
Foods for Healthy Brain Function
Steps to Keep the Brain Healthy
⎌

EMOTIONS
The Emotional Wheel: What it is and how to use it
A Visual Guide to Human Emotion
Wheel of Emotions, interactive (Plutchick)
Emotional Wheel Chart
Six Theories of Emotion
Theory of Emotion, ​William James
Theory of Emotion, Robert Plutchik
Difference between Thoughts and Feelings
Empathy vs Sympathy
Rule of Thumb:
A feeling tends to be a word and a thought tends to be a description. If you are attempting to understand yourself or another, notice what is said. Oftentimes, people cannot understand themselves because they have not started with the basics: How do I feel? One word. And then you can combine from there. Internal feelings tend to describe our disposition and not our situation.
☺︎ ☹︎

MEDITATION
Self Compassion is a better indicator of Happiness than Self Esteem
Insight LA Los Feliz
Meditation Centers in Los Angeles
The Great Bell Chant (the end of suffering)
Tibetan Bell and Rain Meditation
Black Zen
The Mindfulness Solution By Dr. Ron Siegal
Black Lives Matter Meditations
Meditation Downloads By the Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Intro
Black Girl in Om
MBSR Mountain Meditation
Mindfulness- An Introduction with Jon Kabat-Zinn
Positive Thinking Meditation: Endorphins
Guided Morning Meditation (to kick start your day)
Negative Capability
⍇  ⍈

DISORDERS
Below is a multitude of information about the more generalized disorders and how they impact people. To treat some disorders, such as neurodevelopmental, neurocognitive, dissociative, eating, sleep, and psychotic disorders; these typically involve a specialization with more specific training and for some, the collaboration of an MD, and are therefore not listed. Personality disorders are also purposely not listed, as well. Diagnostics require a full mental health exam and detailed assessment along with the client's history and presentation in real time, over a period of time. Diagnosing is not simply matching symptomatology read on a list. It is for these reasons I feel it would be a disservice to include the above mentioned disorders. Diagnosing is complex, nuanced, and requires years of education and training.
ADD/ADHD RESOURCES 
What is ADHD?
Thomas E. Brown, PhD, discusses ADHD diagnosis, ADHD symptoms, available ADHD treatment options, and ADHD medication.
ADDitude Magazine
A comprehensive website for parents, adults, and professionals dealing with ADHD, learning disabilities, and related conditions
Is ADHD hereditary?
Rejection Sensitivity 
How Rejection Sensitivity Derails Relationships
Race and ADHD: How People of Color Get Left Behind
Culturally Competent Approaches to ADHD: Issues in African American Populations
What to Expect from ADHD in Relationships 
ADHD and Relationships
Partners: We both have ADHD
9 Ways ADHD May Strain Relationships
Finding more happiness for both partners when one partner has ADHD
ADHD and Women
Symptoms of ADHD in Adult Men
Working Memory
ADHD and Substance Use
ADHD vs Bi Polar
Bi Polar or ADHD?
Framework

AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER
Autism Spectrum Disorder
Actually Autistic
Actually Autistic Educator podcasts
Nothing About Us Without Us
Autistic Self Advocacy Network
Autism Society of Los Angeles
Autism Spectrum Disorder School and Programs, Los Angeles

STRESS DISORDERS and PTSD
Adjustment Disorder
National Center for PTSD: The Precursor to PTSD- Acute Stress Disorder
Politics and Stress Disorders
PTSD and Hate Crimes
PTSD and Racial Trauma
Stress and Mental Health Populations of Color: Advancing Our Understanding of Race-related Stressors
PTSD and LGBTQ Trauma
National Institute of Mental Health: PTSD
Relationships and PTSD: What to Know
PTSD and its Effects on Sex
PTSD and its Influence on Substance Abuse
Covid Pandemic and its Effects on PTSD
The Coming Age of Climate Trauma
Mental Health Effects of Climate Change
Gun Violence Trauma and PTSD
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)
The Effects of Children's Exposure to Domestic Violence
Childhood Emotional Neglect and its Impact
Sibling Bullying and Abuse
Sibling Violence
1 in 6 (unwanted and abusive sexual experiences on males)
​Sexual Violence against Boys is far more common than we think
RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network)

ANXIETY DISORDERS
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ​​(OCD)
OCD vs OCPD (ocpd is not an anxiety disorder, it's a personality disorder) the symptoms 
OCD vs OCPD (ocpd is not an anxiety disorder, its a personality disorder) the differences
OCD and its Effects on Relationships
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
What to know about Anxiety in Black Communities
GAD and its Effects on Relationships
Panic Disorder
Agoraphobia
Agoraphobia: Types, Symptoms and Causes
Pandemic Agoraphobia (Not a DSM diagnosis--its symptomatic of the pandemic)
Mass Shooting Agoraphobia (Not a DSM diagnosis--its symptomatic of the weekly deluge of mass shootings)

DEPRESSIVE DISORDERS
Major Depressive Disorder
Persistent Depressive Disorder
Misconceptions of Depression in African Americans
Bi Polar I & II Disorders
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)
Postpartum Depression
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

SOMATIC SYMPTOM DISORDERS
Illness Anxiety Disorder, two types: Care-Seeking and Care-Avoidant
Conversion Disorder
Factitious Disorder
Psychological Factors affecting other Medical Conditions

MENTAL HEALTH EFFECTS
Mental Health Literacy
Wheel of Emotions to Help with Emotional Literacy (interactive lInk)
Emotional Intelligence vs Social Intelligence
Mental Health vs Mental Illness
Mental Health Terms to Use
Mental Health and Social Media
Social Media and the Mental Health Impacts
Department of Labor: Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)
Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and California Family Rights Act (CFRA)
Can I use FMLA for Mental Health? (also see KFJ, LMFT, FAQ page)
Co-existing Definitions of Mental Illness: Legal, Medical, and Layperson's Understanding paving a Path for Jury Bias
Find Psychiatrists Los Angeles
Find a Psychiatrist
Alternatives to Psychiatry
Complimentary and Alternative Medicines
Mental Health and Yoga
Scalp Acupuncture and Mental Disorders
National Health News
⚔︎

RACE BASED TRAUMATIC STRESS (RBTS)
Racial Identity Theory
Model of Violence
Race Based Traumatic Stress: What is it?
The Link between Racism and Mental Health
Racial Trauma
'Weathering' is the Health Effects of Stress and Discrimination
Minority Stress and Addiction
We R Native
National Urban League
NAACP
Black Lives Matter
Therapy for Black Girls
Therapy for Black Men
Therapy for Latinx
☝🏽Please Note: The X in Latinx is intended to be inclusive of queer and trans people in Latin America and the US by queer and trans people, however, it simultaneously erases a crucial part of Latin American identity and language, and replaces it with an English word. How people define themselves may vary. The website name above is one version.
'Model Minority' Model
OCA Asian Pacific American Advocates
Asian American Pacific Islander Mental Health Resources
The Impact of Racial Identity, ethnic identity, Asian Values and Race Related stress on Asian Americans
Arab American Institute
Anti Racism Resources Los Angeles Department of Mental health 
Racism Recovery Plan, Steps
Stages of Racial and Cultural Identity Model (RCID) and White Racial Identity Model (WRID)
Bi Cultural Identity Integration (Huynh, Nguyễn, Benet-Martinez)
Anti Racist Books
American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)
SOCIAL THEORY: Race, Racism, and Identity
Mercer Kobena writings
Paul Gilroy
Kimberle' Crenshaw
Mapping the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence Against Women of Color (Crenshaw)
Patricia J Williams
Hortense J Spillers
Cornel West
✌︎

DEPENDENCY (GROUP RESOURCES)
Substance Use Disorders
Alcohol Use Disorder
​
--
Alcoholics Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous
Overeaters Anonymous
Co-Dependents Anonymous
Debtors Anonymous
Nicotine Anonymous
Workaholics Anonymous
Recovery Dharma On line: BIPOC Only
Alanon
25 Sober Communities Beyond AA
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families
OTHER DEPENDENCY PRACTICES
Harm Reduction
Moderation Management
You will notice that SLAA is not listed above. I am a sex-positive therapist and join many therapists of this ilk in our findings that there is insufficient evidence to support the idea of 'sex addiction,' as evidenced by the rejection of such a diagnosis by the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists; as well as, the diagnostic bible: The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

SHAME & GUILT: How being Adaptive requires Coordination with self and others
Human Emotions: An Evolutionary Psychological Perspective
Shame in Evolutionary Psychology: How and Why did it come to be?
Shame and it's impact on Depression and Anxiety
Shame closely tracks one's own devaluation (evolutionary psychology)
The Functionality of Shame and Guilt
Rage & Grief (Butler)
Guilt and Apology, the evolutionary model
Understanding Social Hierarchies
Sociocultural Theory (Vygotsky)
Shame and Disgust: Moral Emotions
Moral Development (Kohlberg)
Moral Development (Gilligan)
Modern Views on Moral Development
Maturational Development Theory (Gesell)
Stages of Cognitive Development (Piaget)
Stages of Psych0-Social Development (Erikson)
Stages of Psycho-Sexual Development (Freud)
Bio-Ecological Development: Ecological Systems Theory (Bronfenbrenner):
Relational-Cultural Theory (Baker Miller)
Family Life Cycle Model (Carter & McGoldrick)
The Importance of Early Emotional Bonding
Understanding Lies based on Evolutionary Psychology 
Ostracism and Aggression
The Mental Health Effects of Cancel Culture
⁌⁍

LGBTQIA+ RESOURCES
ONE Archives
Queer History Book List
Organization of American Historians: Queer History
American LGBT History, Basics
Queer Black California: Black California History of LGBTQ+
Black LGBT people who made history
Queermaps: explorable archive of LGBTQ spaces and organizations in Los Angeles (1871 to the present)
Harlem Renaissance: LGBT 1918 - 1930s
Harlem Renaissance: LGBT, again, 1918 - 1930s
The Pansy Craze: Early Gay nightlife in Los Angeles 1920s - 1930s
Butch-Femme 1940s
Vice Versa, the first Lesbian Magazine published in Los Angeles 1947
Daughters of Bilitis, the first Lesbian Rights Group 1955
The Ladder Magazine, first national Lesbian publication (in San Francisco) in the US 1956- 1970
Femme Invisibility
The Mattachine Society, founded 1950, the first Gay Rights Organization, Los Angeles
One, Inc, the first Gay Magazine published in Los Angeles in 1953
The Bisexual Movement 1960s
Anything That Moves, the first Bisexual Newsletter 1991 Bay Area (available scans)
Stonewall 1969 NYC
National Coalition of Black Lesbians and Gays (NCBLG) 1970s
Brief History of Civil Rights
History of LGBTQ Los Angeles
Mapping Los Angeles LGBT History 
Sunset Junction Gay History: The Black Cat Tavern (pre Stonewall)
How West Hollywood came to Symbolize LGBTQ LA
The AIDS Crisis and the Uprising of Gay America
How ACT UP changed America... 'Action = Life/Silence = Death'
The AIDS Epidemic historical impact on Gay men
History of Pride Month
History of Marriage Equality
Discover Los Angeles LGBT History
National Park Service American LGBTQ Heritage
National Resource Center on LGBT Aging
SAGE Advocacy & Services for LGBT Elders
Aging through a Queer Lens| The Gerontologist
Dismantling the Silence: LGBTQ Aging, Emerging from the Margins| The Gerontologist
California Department of Aging: LGBT
The Gay and Transgender Wage Gap
Equal Pay is an LGBT Issue
California by County Resources LGBTQ
BLK Publications 1993-2019
The Pride LA magazine
The Blade magazine
Them magazine
Aids Project Los Angeles APLA
Black AIDS Institute
LGBT Center Los Angeles
Los Angeles Bi Task Force
Minority Stress
Prejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations
Lambda Legal
American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force NGLTF
National Center for Lesbian Rights NCLR 
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation GLAAD
EEOC: Preventing Employment Discrimination against LGBT Workers
Transgender Law and Policy Institute TLPI
TGI Justice Project
Brave Space Alliance
National Coalition of Anti Violence Programs NCAVP
Matthew Shepard Foundation
Parents, Families, Friends of Lesbians and Gays PFLAG
PFLAG Glossary of Terms
Queer spawn Living Language
QUEER: A former slur Reclaimed
Models of Pride
Brave Trails LGBTQ Youth Leadership
GSA Network: Gay Straight Alliance
The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Children's Hospital
Trans Family Support Services
Trans Women of Color Collective
TransLatin@ Coalition
LA Gender Center
Gender Reveal Podcast: Journalist and Educator Tuck Woodstock
Gender Dysphoria: What is Gender Dysphoria? (APA)
Gender Dysphoria and issues surrounding it: Information (transsexuality.org)
'Transgender' vs 'Transexual'
The New American Family: Trans, gender queer, Non binary, two spirit
Gender Spectrum for Gender Expansive Kids, Teens, and their (not so queer) Families
Parents and Family of Gender Expansive kids
Non Binary Union Los Angeles NBULA
20 Essential Non Binary Books (Fiction & Nonfiction)
Transgender Heaven
Trans Youth Guidebook
My Prounouns.org
Black Trans Travel Fund
Trans Lounge
Binding 101
Basic [Top] Surgery  Survival Guide
Gender Affirming Procedures
For many Transgender People Competent Medical Care is hard to find
Preparing for Pregnancy as a Non-Binary person
Experiences with Achieving Pregnancy and Giving Birth Among Transgender Men: A Narrative Literature Review
The Imperative for Transgender and Non Binary Persons: Obstetrics and Gynecology
How norms concerning maternity, femininity and cisgender increase stress among lesbians, bisexual women and transgender people with a fear of childbirth
How Do I know if I'm Trans feminine?
How do I know if I'm Trans Masculine?
How do I know if I'm Non-Binary?
What does Non-Binary mean?
Understanding Non-Binary people: How to be Respectful and Supportive
Marsha P Johnson Institute
Issues facing trans people in Prison
A New Way of Life: Resourcing (LGBT) Women after prison
World Professional Association for Transgender Health
Standards of Care WPATH
ALGBTIC Competencies for Counseling Transgender Clients
Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Clients 
Transgender American Veterans Association
Interviewing Tips for Transgender and Non Binary People
Trans and Drag History from the 17th Century to present
Trans History from the 19th Century to present 
Trans History Timeline for Transgender Youth
Urania, the first Gender Studies journal published 1916-1940
Transvestia Magazine and Virginia Prince, Los Angeles 1960
Cross Dressing, Definition and Psychology 
Trans Lifeline
Two Spirit
Perspectives on LGBTQ Native Americans in Traditional Culture
Two Spirit People: Sex, Gender & Sexuality in Historic and Contemporary Native America
Two Spirit: The Story of a Movement Unfolds
8 Things You Should Know about Two Spirit
Gilles Deleuze Dictionary
Key Concepts of Georges Bataille
Foucault News
Jacques Derrida
Audre Lorde
Judith Butler: Philosophical Dictionary of Arguments
Julia Serano Glossary
Oscar Wilde
Types of Consent (Emily Nagoski)
NAMI: LGBTQ
Suicide Prevention LGBT
Trevor Project
211LA: LGBT Page
SAGE Elder Hotline
American Military Partner Association AMPA
Very Well Family: LGBTQ+ Getting pregnant, parenting, and parenting topics
Planned Parenthood: Fertility Treatment Basics
Professional Organizations on LGBT Parenting
Same Sex parents are seven times more likely to raise adopted or foster children 
Transracial Adoptions: Transracial adoptees struggle when attempting to talk with White parents about race
​
"I know my parents love me but they don't love my people'
Same Sex Parents and their Children
School Outcomes of Children raised by Same Sex parents
How to raise a Gender Neutral Baby
Pacific Fertility Center of Los Angeles
HRC Lesbian and Gay IVF Services
Egg Freezing
In Vitro Fertilization IVF
Sperm Donation Basics
Gay Parent magazine
COLAGE: Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere
LGBTQ People with Disabilities
Asexuality 101
Asexuality.org
Asexuals.net
What does A Spec mean?
Ace and Aro Advocacy Project.  (autiaro and autiace)
Aro/Ace
Asexuality Identification Scale (AIS)
What does it mean to be Aromantic and Asexual?
Aphobia
Queer Platonic Relationships (QPR)
Position on the Dignity and Rights of Asexual individuals (AASECT)
Bi-Sexual GGGG
Drag Queen Story Hour
Neuroqueer Heresies by Dr Nick Walker (book) Neurodivergent queers
Drag Queen Story Hour WEHO
Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence 
Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles
Dyke Day LA
Dykes on Bikes
Butch and Stud Lesbians: The Renegades
Queer Femme
Queer Black Authors
Queer Authors
LGBTQ+ YA Books
Out: A Parent's Guide to Supporting Your LGBTQIA+ Kid Through Coming Out and Beyond,  John Sovec, LMFT
GLSEN: Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network
The Trevor Project Coming Out Handbook: Teens
Coming Out: Teens
International LGBTQ Magazines
IDENTITY  MODELS 
Caveat: All identity models have limitations. Just below is a basic list in the historical order that they were established. Identity Models are good places for therapeutic work to reflect from. They are also not all inclusive and should not be taken, as such.
Identity Model (Cass)
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Identity Model (Troiden)
Split Attraction Model (SAM)
Coming Out Model (Coleman)
Transgender and Gender NonConforming Identity Model (Pardo & Devor)
Minority Stress Model (Meyer)
​-
Sexuality, Gender, and Religion QPOC
Finding Queer Belonging in Ancient Mythology
LGBT Themes in Ancient Mythology
The Importance of Monstrosity in Queer Storytelling
About 'The Epistemology of the Closet' (Kosofsky Sedgwick)
The Body You Want: An interview with Judith Butler
Playing with Butler and Foucault: Bisexuality and Queer Theory
Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality (Rubin)
Cruel Optimism (Berlant)
How Camp became a Queer Aesthetic 
Cuties, Queer and QPOC owned businesses
Everybody Gym
A-Camp
⚢⚣⚤⚧⚦⚬⚩

POLY Books
Book recommendations below are link-free. This way, you can purchase from your own favorite local book seller

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Non-Monogamy by Jessica Fern
More Than two (MTT) by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
Caveat- Controversial conversations in the poly community surround one MTT author about their personal life.
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Catherine A Litsz
Polyamory Handbook: A User's Guide by Peter J Benson
Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Relationships
 by Wendy O Matik
The Polyamory Breakup Book: Causes, Prevention and Survival
 by Kathy Labriola
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ETHICS AND MORALITY (link) 
Julia Driver, Simon Blackburn, Steven Cahn & Peter Markie, Aristotle, Immanuel Kant, John Stuart Mill, Frederich Nietzesche,Peter Singer, T.M. Scanlon

Philosophy Break (link)
Click the link and ignite your curiosity with a mini bite article for literally just a few minutes.
​


​INFIDELITY Books
The State of Affairs by Esther Perel
When You're the One who Cheats by Dr Tammy Nelson
Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic
Intelligence by Ester Perel
The Road to
Reconciliation by Keith R Wilson

Relationship Grief (link)
​Esther Perel: Rethinking Infidelity_
​⚓︎ ⚓︎ ⚓︎
​Trouble Looms when Monogamy is no Longer a Free Expression of Loyalty but a Form of Enforced Compliance
-​Esther Perel

✈︎

ASEXUALITY/GRAY Books
Ace: What Asexuality 
Reveals about Society, Sexuality, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen
​The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker
Cis Lesbian/Gay (link)
The Double By Jungian Analyst Mitch Walker
A Lesbian and Gay Affirmative notion of Anima/Animus

AGING
California Department of Aging 
National Institute on Aging
Aging Magazine
Benefits Checkup
AARP
American Society on Aging
Occupational Distributions of Work and Aging
Changes in the Body with Aging
Aging: What to Expect
Exercise and Aging
Sexuality later in Life
Aging changes in the Senses
Substance Abuse and Misuse on Older Adults
What is the difference between Alzheimer's and Dementia?
Alzheimer's Association
The Conversation Project
Medical Power of Attorney Form
H.R. 4449 Patient Self Determination Act of 1990
Advance Care Planning Resources (CDC)
Advance Directives
End of Life Issues and Care
※

The UnHOUSED-
​Services & VOLUNTEER RESOURCES for East LOS ANGELES
Nythia Raman Councilmember District 4
The Sidewalk Project
Street Watch
SELAH
Union Rescue Mission
The Laundry Truck
City of Los Angeles Department of Aging
Homelessness and Racial Disparities
Homelessness and LGBT Youth
Food Pantry
211LA
East Los Angeles Women's Shelter
National Center for Transgender Equality: Housing and Homelessness
Needle Exchange: Homeless Healthcare Los Angeles
Health Care for Low Income Folk
Homeless Shelter Directory
City of Los Angeles
County of Los Angeles
Department of Mental Health, Los Angeles
FeedingAmerica.org: for help or donation
PAWS Los Angeles (vet care, pet food, and supplies) at no charge
The Human Society  (volunteer)
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Heartfelt Meanings for us all-- (active links)
The Gift of the Magi By O. Henry
A multiperspective short story about relationships with self and other
Wild Geese By Mary Oliver
Poetry

Coming Out Plan for PARENTS
-
Coming Out to our Kids: An Affirmative Approach to Assisting Gay, Lesbian and
​Bisexual Parents
 

By Kristin F Jones
​

In 2004, Adams, Jacques, and May estimated 2 to 10  million gay and lesbian parents were raising 6 to 14 million children in the United States. This large invisible population denotes how pervasive discrimination and heterocentered sociocultural norms obscure relevant queer information; especially, in terms of what constitutes the varieties of the 'American family.' 

In fact, large numbers of children who have gay, lesbian and bisexual (GLB) parents are conceived in the context of mixed-orientation coupling; where one parent is gay or bisexual, and the other is straight. Parental alliances do not automatically indicate that a parent is heterosexual, as seen above. 

Scores of GLB parents attempt traditional heterosexual marriage in their efforts to have children, while others seek refuge from homonegativity by concealing themselves inside heterosexual relationships. The closeted experience typically is supported by concerns including fear of discrimination, child-custody disputes, family-of-origin reactions, and peer ostracism for the child, parent, or both.

One's coming out breaks the stronghold of the false self allowing the GLB parent to reduce splitting, while challenging the tenacity of shame. GLB clients who consider coming out to their children often seek reassurance that favorable relationships with their kids will be possible, after disclosure. To help serve this purpose, parents are advised to have their own peer support in place before  coming out.

Below are seven guidelines to assist the GLB parent with coming out to their child.

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Parents 'Coming  Out' plan
Assist conceptualizing affirmative meaning, the actual conversation, and the aftermath
* It is recommended that parents  come to terms with their sexual orientation before disclosing to children
* Self-acceptance increases the likelihood that children will react positively
* Shame increases the likelihood that children will react negatively (process shame with client)


Plan for self disclosure
* Parents need to tell their children before they hear from others
* Children rarely initiate a discussion on the topic
* Time and place of disclosure should be planned in advance


Prepare conversations
* Disclosure should be positive and sincere and not apologetic
* Reassure children that loving relationships with parents will not change


Cast self-disclosure in age appropriate language
* Parents should disclose to children as early as possible
* Children are never  too young to be told
* Details should be confined to the child's level of  understanding


Prepare for possible questions, and if parent doesn't have answers to all questions, encourage the parent to be honest about this; as coming out to their child is a new opportunity for growth, as well.

Kids might ask:
* Why are you telling me?
* What does gay, lesbian or bisexual mean?
* What makes a person gay, lesbian,  or bisexual?
* Will I be gay, lesbian, or bisexual, too?
* Don't you like  women or men?
* What should I tell my friends?


Allow the child  time to process
Remain calm
'Plan' summarized from Barret and Robinson (1990)

As LGBT and queer affirmative clinicians, we assist gay, lesbian, and bisexual parents in the coming out process through reflection and recognition, as we invite the parent to re-imagine their life. The coming out process is exactly that, a process, and it will happen again and again over the course of a lifetime. Clinicians who are not educated in LGBTQ populations are encouraged to obtain training, in order to genuinely understand the lived-experience of GLB parents, their children, and their families of choice. 
Affirmative therapy involves responsibility, discernment, contextual focus and above all, support.
​

Affirmatively yours,
Kristin
Article published in CAMFT Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (April, 2013) Newsletter.  
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